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If your New Year's plan includes a regimen of festive over-indulgence, the brilliant Dr Death, director of the Hell-of-a-Headache Clinic, may be able to assist somewhat.

You know the scenario: you wander in at 3a. m. after a thoroughly vivacious party, having had more than a few of whatever was going. After dancing around the room with the cat and telling it how much it reminds you of Bjork and how you'll be off to the Bahamas together tomorrow, you suddenly fall on the bed/couch/floor and pass out.

Don't pass out! Your metabolism slows down when you're asleep, so your body takes longer to process and safely dispose of all that alcohol. This is how hangovers happen. You are going to stay awake for at least an hour, so chat with a friend (or the cat), make a cup of tea (not coffee - that just dehydrates you more), do anything that keeps you awake.

If you have poisoned your body and deprived it of sleep, it needs time to heal and you need to time to suffer. However he says there are certain things you can do to make it feel a little better.

Step 1 Drink fruit juice. The fructose will help you metabolise the alcohol faster.

Step 2 Pain relief. A headache is one of the worst parts of a hangover.

Step 3 Drink Water. Plenty before and after bedtime will help rehydration.

Step 4 Eat amino acids. To help replace the proteins destroyed by alcohol.

Step 5 Coffee. Just 2 cups the next morning will reduce the swelling in your blood vessels that causes headache.

Step 6 A good meal - keep it light. No fats or fried foods. Goulash will help replace salt and potassium.

Step 7 Take B complex vitamins. This shortens hangovers by aiding your stressed body systems.

Step 8 Sleep. Next day go to bed early. Your body can then repair itself.

This plan may not necessarily leave you feeling morally and physically superior to other mortals, but you may be able to pretend that little bit better. Sleep it off. You will require something protein-heavy for breakfast (I favour grilled cheese on toast) - avoid lots of sugar. Have a coffee now, and extra water. Go out and face the day!

CAUTION! This advice should not be taken as legally or medically binding, and no responsibility for injury, property damage or loss of common sense will be taken by the publishers of this material.