Wheat beers are sweet beers
October 9, 2012 Rozanne Woodward 0 Comments
1) O’Dell’s Easy Street Wheat The most popular and accessible wheat in the state, Easy Street comes with two hard and fast rules– always drink it from the tap (never the bottle) and squeeze in a slice of lemon to bring out the taste. Easy Street is highly chuggable for a wheat, and settles the stomach like a stout … yep, a beer that won’t give you the munchies. There’s enough fermented crap in it to keep any alcoholic in Buzzville, but the concoction isn’t too thick to be enjoyed (see Widmer).
2) Sam Adams Cherry Wheat Here we have one of those insidious flavored wheats, but since Sam Adams is a reputable brewery with some genuine craftsmen in employ, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Just imagine what would happen if you left a can of Cherry Coke open for a year, then recarbonated it. The label promises a crisp finish, which is true if you think the finish comes when you stop sipping. A drinkable beer, but the aftertaste of "natural" cherry flavors will keep you from enjoying more than one at a time. If you’re looking for a buzz, make sure your tolerance is rock bottom … i. e. a good beer to drink when you reach the summit of that 14er.
3) Sierra Nevada Wheat It comes with detritus in the bottom of every bottle, but this is a good thing in wheat beers, kind of like how it’s okay to have chunks of apple skin in a jug of juice when you buy organic. Sierra Nevada’s the best tasting brew of this sample, though slightly less buzz-inducing than O’Dell’s. At least you won’t have to slice up a lemon to get it down. The label (why do we read these things?) encourages pouring the bottle into a pint glass, but beware: Sierra Nevada strongly resembles regurgitated Guinness after a meal of applesauce. I just chug from the bottle, myself.
4) Eddie McStiff’s Moab Blueberry Flavored Wheat Beer Oh my God, I drank a muffin. This batter in a bottle is easily the worst sludge masquerading as beer I’ve ever attempted to swallow. There’s a blueberry beforetaste, duringtaste, aftertaste … don’t be surprised if you piss purple after a few sips. It was chewy, my friends. Chewy. Being brewed in Utah, I suspect this beer is a secret plot on the part of Mormons to get people to swear off drinking forever. It almost worked. Despite valiant (some would say foolhardy) effort, I was forced to use it as sink Dran-O in the end; to nobody’s surprise, the beer was streaked purple and white in color, like a bad Cyndi Lauper haircut. The worst part: it didn’t even unclog the drain.
5) Widmer Heffeweisen The only German-style wheat here, and for good reason. People argue American beers are just a pale imitation of the Belgian and German forefa-thers, but when it comes to wheats, give me the statesides any day of the week. Widmer’s a decent enough beer, with a good taste when leavened with lemon, but it’s thicker than pudding and causes gas something fierce. I can only imagine the cacophony of a German dinner table — bratwurst and Widmer could have been combined by the Nazis to beat us in the nuclear arms race. The brew does pack a powerful punch, but that’s nullified by the water you need to quench the thirst it causes.